Hurry Kids, Get In The House Before He Sees Us

I really don't know what to do about this guy. My next door neighbor seems to have it in his head that I'm some sort of shadetree mechanic and will not stop asking me to look at his car. I can do basic maintenance, such as changing oil, brake pads, spark plugs, and things along those lines. Apparently, he saw me outside changing spark plugs about a year ago and decided that I'm the neighborhood mechanic. I try to be nice to the guy and let him know that I really only know basic maintenance, yet every time he has a problem, he's knocking on my door and wants me to come look at his car right away. He drives an 81 Plymouth Reliant that seems to be held together with duct tape and chicken-wire. I'm amazed it runs, to be perfectly honest.

He came over Monday to try to talk me into replacing his shifter cable. I told him truthfully that I have never done that before and am afraid I would mess it up even more than it already is. He's a nice guy, and I really don't want to be a jerk about it, but I have a hard enough time keeping up with my wife's and my own car. He just won't take no for an answer. It's at the point now that when I come home from work, I go a specific way to avoid driving in front of his house so he won't know I'm home. I can't wait until we find a house so I don't have to live next to him anymore. I just have to make sure it has a garage big enough for me to do the auto maintenance in so that nobody gets any crazy ideas that I have some kind of mechanical aptitude.